There are people in my life who have a knack for telling me the unadulterated truth at the right time. Spoke with one such friend earlier this week, and the conversation was long overdue.
I have a habit of becoming introverted to the point of social exclusion, avoiding contact when I feel like I’m not in my happiest head space. Since the dissolution of my marriage, I’ve been in a slump – seriously withdrawing from most of my friends, focusing on work, keeping very much to myself.
I know this is not a healthy habit, but I hate to share my doubts, fears, and pain with others. If I am not in a good place, I prefer to keep it to myself. Depression is dangerous and insidious – sometimes you do not realize how far you’ve withdrawn until someone calls you to task.
My best friend did just that.
Over the past two years, my interaction with friends waned of my own accord. I stopped answering calls, returning e-mails, sending cards, responding to texts. Frankly, I’ve been a hermit and it has to stop or I will lose the friends who are most important to me.
I’ve done this before – when I miscarried, I went into a downward spiral where I withdrew and alienated several people. I suppose that this withdrawal may have been another nail in the coffin of my failed marriage, too, although we both withdrew from each other as well as others.
I certainly do not want to repeat the pattern, and thank goodness I have friends who love me enough to remind me that they are here for me – in good times, and bad.
To that end, I took some time today to send a few cards to people I love whom I’ve not been very good at corresponding with lately. It is time for me to pull myself out of this funk and return to the land of the living. Hopefully it is not too late to remind these treasured people that I love them and am grateful that they are a part of my life.
Time to suck it up, buttercup, and rejoin the land of the living.